friend·ship(n): someone who shows the love of Christ

Over the last few months I have learned an extremely valuable lesson. It is one about friendship and one that has completely and radically changed my attitude and point-of-view on what a true friend really is. This lesson wasn't learned based on a bad friend that I had and therefor led me to extract what I feel a true friend should be. No, this is lesson, a story, if you will, of one of the most true and dear friends I could have ever asked for and the great mercy and kindness that she has shown to me over the years.

Beyond the Surface

I have known her for 9 years. Our friendship started in middle school and quickly blossomed into a "BFFAEFENMW" kind of friendship. A "best friends forever and ever for eternity no matter what" friendship. (Don't make fun, if you're a girl, you know you did this when you were younger!) We hung out almost every single day, made ridiculous dance videos that were silly enough to make it onto The Tonight Show, took more photo shoots than an experienced wedding photographer will ever take in his entire career and baked enough treats to feed all of Atlantic City. But if you were to look just a little bit further at the friendship that we shared, you would see more to it then photo shoots, dance videos and cupcakes. What you would see is two friends that genuinely cared for one another beyond any surface level of friendship. We prayed for one another, we shared bible scriptures and we went on youth retreats together. We made pacts to stay pure until marriage, we vowed to never date someone who wasn't a christian, and we promised to always give Godly advice even when it wasn't needed.

This is the kind of friend that later set into motion my endless search for other friends just like her when I went away to college. Granted, I did find friends like this, but it was because I had the best example to go off of. This is the kind, SHE is the kind of friend that once you get a hold of, you never want to let go.

Where Mistakes are Made

Unfortunately for my best friend, I started to slip away after I left town for Liberty. It's not that I forgot about her, because I certainly didn't, but just as any long-distance relationship is difficult, so was ours. We lost touch, we gained new friends at our new schools and we lost the friendship that I once held so dear--so I thought. 

After I got engaged, she was definitely one of my most supportive friends. She sent me the sweetest message congratulating me and we even talked about things like what colors my wedding would be and what kind of dress I would wear. When it came down to picking my bridesmaids however, I didn't pick her to be one. As soon as I made the decision, I instantly felt sick. I knew that I made the wrong decision and instead of talking to her about it, I pushed away even further and let her wonder "why?" I thought, "Well we don't hang out any more and we go to different schools. So i'll pick someone else." BIG MISTAKE. I have never felt more wrong about a decision. 

The Truth as I know it

The best of friends are the ones that are still your friends even when you mess up. They are still your friends through distance, life changes, through busy schedules and crazy weird phases. They don't need to call you every single day or hang out with you four times a week in order to be classified as a "good friend". It's a bit hard to put into words all of the characteristics of a friend like the one that I have, especially when there is so much more too it then any definition that Merriam-Webster would give you. 

The Best of Advice

A very important person in my life told me today that there is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ. She was telling me this because I was miserably upset and heart-broken over the fact that I was such a terrible friend to her daughter. For those of you who are like me, and who are suffering over the mistakes that we have made, whether in a friendship or anything else, know that "we need to stand in His grace and move forward." She also reminded me that our LORD died so that we could be set free from this! And do you want to know the most incredible part of it all? How many parents would give such Godly advice after their daughter was hurt by the actions of another? Not many, but this woman did and she still showed the awesome love of Christ to me. I understand why her daughter, my friend, is the kind and beautiful person that she is. They have showed me mercy unlike I have ever experienced before (except of course, from the LORD) and they have continued to love me even still. 

So to Chelsea, my dear sweet friend, I thank you for exemplifying the wonderful attributes of Christ that I so needed to see and for still being my friend after these crazy 9 years of ups and downs. I appreciate you more than you will ever know and I look forward to kick-starting this friendship back into gear!

Question & Challenge 

Are you being the kind of friend that you should be? Look to Christ and how he has showed love to us and then use that as your basis for all of your relationships.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Normally I would use Photoshop to make a nice quote or edit a photo, but I thought I would keep the original work of the young Chelsea and Shae on this one :)